The One Once Waited For Is Not The One Found
by twerdy
Summary: "I've never felt pain like this before. It's eating me alive. There is no other way..." Jake loved her-she destroyed him. Decisions were made...but what if she wasn't the one for him? No Nessie. Jake finds there's more to life than Bella. AU, slightly OOC
1. Chapter 1 The End

The pain had become too much.

I had been too afraid to say it, but inside me was complete shreds. Tatters that were not worth the time I had wasted, the pain she had caused me without any concern.

Each reach and every step took me closer to my relief, to having relief at last. Relief that would replace the hallow shell of a person that I had become.

What they say is true, 'The first cut is the deepest', but each cut after seemed to drag deeper and deeper until there was nothing left of me to tear. I just kept bleeding out.

I tried hard not to blame her for what I had become - she didn't love me in the same way I loved her. But all the apologies and excuses she had made for the false hope that had started to grow for any sort of 'us' I had felt forming, wouldn't, and couldn't, close that first cut. It was too deep, set below my stomach. It would never heal; the wound that ached with every memory, every thought of her. Of what we could have been.

I could only blame myself for letting me need her like I need the air I breathe. How poetic it was, then, that I would be ending my pain with the same kind of pain that drove me to even think about ending anything at all. I thought about all this as I dragged the razor through my stomach, right at the place that had been hurting me for months. Deeper and deeper I drove it in, just wanting this to be over.

I approached my anticipated end; letting the ice cold wind I had been longing for whip across my face atop that cliff. Again…my memories swirled around inside my head, focusing on her. I had to stop…I had to focus. This was it. The seemingly endless dull, gray sky stretched out before me. The unrelenting sea embraced me. For the first time in a long time, I felt wanted, and for this, I was grateful.

I could feel that cut widening, as if to let the last of my sanity escape into the madness of the current around me. Here and now, I could finally accept it, and let the world see. I was dead inside.

I embraced this new pain as a sadistic sort of relief before truly giving up.I was escaping from the pain. I was leaving behind the girl.

Broken. I continued to bleed apart in the openness.

'Cold, cold water surrounds me now. You'll be forced to listen this time, won't you? I am lost, with nothing.'

I stopped fighting the current, and let what pieces of me I had left, the pieces that I hadn't stupidly given away, be swept away.

And the water turned red.


	2. Chapter 2 Waking Up

Wet.

That's the first thing I felt. Dripping from my hair, down my face. Water was covering my entire body. It made my skin itch, made it crawl.

Light.

Blinding light through my eyelids, making me squint even though my eyes were already closed. I didn't like the light, it seared trough my eyelids and sent daggers into my head.

Salt.

I tasted the salt on my lips, dripping down my face. It was bitter in my mouth, and I longed for a glass of water. That's when I started to _feel._

Pain

Everywhere, there was pain. It consumed my entire body, ripping me apart over and over. My muscles burned with the fierceness of hell, my head pounded as if it had been smashed against a wall. It came in waves, first my muscles, then my head, and finally….finally my stomach.

The pain hit me like a train. I yelled out in agony and tried to grab at my stomach, to somehow force the pain to stop with just my hands. It was useless, though, because someone pinned my hands down immediately. I yelled out again, and opened my eyes.

Everything swirled around me in a panic. My senses were assaulted; bright fluorescent lights, people in white coats rushing me down a long hallway, staring down at me with concentrated, worried expressions. One of them was explaining some kind of instructions in a tense voice.

I heard phrases like "blood loss" and "lucky we got to him when we did" passed between what looked like two nurses. I was panicking. What had happened? How did I get here? What did this mean? And why the _fuck_ did I hurt this badly? Wasn't death supposed to be painless? A bright light, maybe an angel or two, and then….then what? Not this…this _hell_ I was currently in. This wasn't right.

I didn't have a lot of time to worry about all these questions, though, because we had arrived at our destination.

The gurney I was laying on burst through a set of double doors and into a large room filled with strange beeping machinery and more men and women in scrubs and surgical masks, wielding gleaming metal instruments. I stared wide-eyed at them as they approached me. They placed a mask over my mouth and nose and almost immediately I began to feel drowsy.

Well, at least it eased the pain a bit.

Just before I slipped into oblivion, I glanced down for the first time at the damage I had caused myself. I saw a huge gaping gash carved into my stomach that was pouring blood at an alarming rate, and I choked on a scream. I had effectively burned into my memory an image that would haunt me for years to come.

Beep…Beep...Beep

That's the first thing I heard. It was a soft, soothing sound. Even. Constant. It comforted me as I woke.

At first, I didn't even want to open my eyes. I just wanted to lay there, listening to that sound.

Beep…Beep…Beep

Ah, how nice. How perfectly rhythmic it was. If I could have had it my way, I would have laid there for hours, days, weeks, just listening to its song.

But apparently, I was never meant to get what I wanted.

"Is he waking?" a soft voice. Timid, almost afraid.

"Yes," another voice. Deeper, more masculine this time. I recognized it almost as quickly as I had recognized the first voice.

"What are you doing here?" I had meant it to come out as a growl, something menacing. But my voice was weak and broken. I sounded pathetic.

"Oh, Jake!" Bella cried, coming to my side. I turned my head to look at her and saw that she must have been crying. Her eyes were rimmed red and puffy. She brought her hand to her mouth as she looked at me. _Do I really look that bad? _I thought. I made it a point to find a mirror as soon as possible.

"Jake." I turned to look at Edward. My stomach seared with hate. Or was it pain? I couldn't tell, and a second later it didn't matter because I was writhing in pain. My body had finally registered that I was awake and was determined to let me know just how badly I had hurt it.

Bella began to panic. She fluttered about me, trying to look for the place I was hurting, as if she could fix it. I scoffed at the thought in my head. She was the one that had caused this in the first place.

I heard Edward growl as that thought passed through my head. God damn vampire mind reading. Couldn't he just let me have some privacy inside my own mind for once? He sighed and turned to Bella. "Bella, sweetheart," I scowled at that, "maybe we should get the nurse? She'll be able to do a lot more for him. We can go find Billy while we're at it" She seemed to agree, and they left.

Billy. Where was my family? Were they too ashamed of me to even see me? But no, the blood sucker had said my father was here. Maybe the rest of the pack was too? I hoped not. I didn't think I could stand all their questions. I decided to take this time alone to get a hold on my bearings.

First thing first, I needed to take inventory of myself. I looked down. The thin hospital sheets had been pulled halfway up my chest. I hesitated before pulling away the cover. What was I going to find? Images of that horrible gash flashed through my mind like a bullet, making me wince. I hesitated another half second, and pulled away the sheets. There, lying just below my belly button, was the nasty gash I had ripped through my skin just one day before. Or had it been longer than that? I'd have to ask. It was stitched shut. I felt around the area with the tips of my fingers and instantly regretted it. The area was extremely sensitive and felt very raw. I decided that was enough of that, and took in my surroundings instead.

I looked around me and confirmed what I had already suspected: I was in a hospital. There was an IV bag filled with blood running down a tube into my arm to the right of my bed. The source of the beeping I had woken up to was also to my right, the little light on the monitor jumping up and down with every beat of my heart. I looked to the left and saw four chairs sitting against the wall. A glance to the left corner of the room gave me a view of a door opened to the hallway, with nurses and doctors rushing about. _Damn, no mirror._ That would have to wait, but I didn't mind. I wasn't looking forward to seeing the wreck that was Jacob Black staring back at me. Based on Bella's reaction, it wasn't going to be pretty.

With that pleasant thought lingering in my head, I was interrupted by the sight of a middle aged nurse striding into the room, with my father wheeling in behind her. He stopped in the doorway and stared at me with a look of intense pain on his face. I didn't look away from him as the nurse fussed over me.

"There you are, that should take an edge off," the nurse said. I broke my gaze away from my father and thanked her. "Were you in here all alone?" she said, disapprovingly. "You aren't permitted to be alone for at least 72 hours." The confusion must have been clear on my face because my father wheeled himself over to my side and explained, "You're on suicide watch, Jake. They're worried you'll…" he let his sentence trail off. I closed my eyes and sighed, letting my head fall back against my hospital-issued pillow.

I should have known as much. The paramedics must have known what happened when they found me. The only question was…how did they find me? Without opening my eyes I mumbled, "How did… who…"

I couldn't think what exactly I was trying to ask, but my father understood. "Someone saw you Jake. He saw you up on that cliff, all alone. He saw you fall. Somehow he knew it wasn't just cliff diving and he…he dragged you out of the water and called 911. You were unconscious." His voice had begun to waver. I opened my eyes and saw that his were rimmed red, just like Bella's had been. A pang went through my stomach as I thought of her.

I didn't ask who my savior had been. I didn't want to know just yet. I don't think I could have handled it. "Dad…" I whispered, "dad I…."

I what? I didn't know what to say, didn't know how to make things better. So I fell silent. After a few minutes I finally asked, "Where is everyone? The pack."

"They're at home. All of them wanted to come, but we agreed it would be best if they stayed home, at least for a few days. You need to rest, Jake. You've been through a lot." I mumbled a feeble agreement. "Try to sleep, alright?" I could tell he was getting choked up again, so I assented. "I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

I let my eyelids slide closed and fell back into darkness. I was so _tired._

So….what do you think so far? Some thing may confuse you right now….but don't worry. All will be answered in the future

Just review please. Add story alerts, author alerts, the whole sha-bam. This is my first fic after all, so please be gentle!


	3. Chapter 3 Arriving and Returning

**A/N Thank you guys so much for reading my story! You can't even begin to believe how excited I am to be writing it! I hope you guys enjoy :). Don't worry the action and romance will start to pick up in the next few chapters.**

**Right now I'm focusing on introducing some characters.**

**Well, read and enjoy guys****. **

**I don't own anything Twilight related, except for my made up characters.**

**JESSAPOV**

"WHY CAN'T YOU DO A DAMN THING RIGHT?" My bellow reverberated through my room.

I sighed exasperatedly and threw an old flip flop at the frozen computer screen. It completely missed, shooting through my open window and into the downpour outside. Not like I needed them anymore, anyways. When would I ever get a chance to wear open toed shoes in Forks?

Oh, I'd done my research. I'm not the kind to dive into something without being prepared. Forks was one of the rainiest places anywhere in the continental U.S. Under an almost constant cover of oppressive rainclouds, it felt as if the only means of transport was swimming. Why my mother and father felt the need to move to this tiny town was still a mystery to me.

"Jessa? Jessa, what is going on up there? You aren't breaking anything, are you?" My mother's voice drifted up the staircase and down the hall to my bedroom.

"Of course not, mom!" I called back. "Not yet," I added under my breath. If my computer kept acting up I was going to have to punish it. So help me, if I had to pull an Office Space on that thing, I would.

I decided that my misfortune with technology could wait. There were more pressing things at hand. Like my warzone bedroom. I could barely see the floor, covered with haphazardly stacked boxes, some half emptied, their contents strewn across the ground. I began to tidy up when I heard a knock on my door.

"Jess?" a timid voice said. I turned around and faced my mother, looking at me with those puppy dog eyes she always wore when she was about to tell me something I wouldn't like. "Yeah?" I said nervously.

"Sweetie….why don't you sit down for a moment. So we can talk." She gave me a sheepish smile as I plopped down on the edge of my purple comforter. "What's going on, mom…" I asked suspiciously. The look on her face told me that this was not going to be pleasant.

"Honey…do you remember when your father and I talked to you about making sacrifices? For the sake of the family? For our happiness?" Still with that guilty look on her face…

"Yeaahh…" I said, urging her to continue. "Well, something has come up. It's just….well I might as well just come out and say it. Your father has been having some trouble with work-"

"Already?" I interrupted.

"Yes," she continued as if I had said nothing, "There has been a… complication. It seems as if he isn't bringing in as much as we had hoped he would. Don't panic," she said, seeing the look on my face. "We'll be fine. But the thing is…it seems as if we won't be able to send you to La Push High. The tuition is just too steep for us right now. Maybe in a few months, when we've settled, we can reconsider transferring you. But right now…with this whole salary issue still up in the air…it just doesn't look like it will be possible for us." She gave me a sympathetic look. "Sweetie, don't worry. Once dad gets everything figured out at the hospital, it'll be smooth sailing." She planted a kiss on my forehead and strode out through the door.

I sat there, shocked. _A few months? _Was she joking? One of the main reasons I had even agreed to the move was that I would be able to attend La Push High. The campus was phenomenal. Beautiful, really, considering how close to the forest it was. The classes they offered were great. Now I'd be forced to go to…_ Forks_ High? This was a nightmare. I hated public school. Granted, I'd never been to a public school before, but they seemed so….horrid. I wanted the comfort of my pleated skirts and flowing blouses.

I sighed and walked over to my computer, which was finally up and running. Maybe I could drown my sorrows in a few YouTube videos before bed.

** JAKEPOV**

Well…this was it. I was finally being discharged from the hospital. My cut had healed enough that the doctors had decided I was well enough to return home. I had gotten through the first 72 hours of suicide watch easy enough. Now they had me scheduled to see a therapist once a week, something I was really not looking forward to. There were still some things that didn't make sense. Things that had been haunting me for days. I remembered waking up the second time very clearly.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ **Flashback**

_Waking up this time was a lot more difficult. I felt the agony even before I opened my eyes._

What the hell is going on_? Shouldn't my body have healed itself already? That little detail hadn't occurred to me before now. I felt so stupid. How could I have let that slip my mind? It was probably the reason that my plan had failed in the first place. But then, how was I here? Why were the nurses saying disturbing things about blood loss? I would have just drowned anyway, if it hadn't been for my mystery savior…_

_I groaned loudly. These things were not the most pleasant to worry about just after waking up. I pushed them to the back of my mind. These thoughts could wait. Right now I needed to deal with the pain…_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ **End Flashback**

Now it was time to return to my family and my pack. Time to go home.

Home.

I had put it off as long as I could, telling the nurse that I was still in pain. Which wasn't a total lie. It still hurt…_a lot. _Of course I knew I had to go home. If I was being honest, the pain had improved tremendously. I could sit up and move around and it only stung a little, and ached for a while after.

I was packing up the things that had been brought to me by my father: a toothbrush, a change of clothes, some books, my iPod. That's when I heard the soft metallic _click! _of the door behind me. I smelled him before I saw him.

A growl rumbled low in my chest, "I don't have the patience to deal with you today, bloodsucker. Why aren't you at home with Bella?" I turned to see, to my surprise, that it wasn't Edward.

It was Carlisle.

I just stood there and stared for a moment before I remembered myself. "Oh…I…Carlisle. I'm sorry I thought you were-"

"You thought I was Edward?" he said, raising his eyebrow at me.

I nodded.

"An understandable mistake, Jacob. One that I will not hold you accountable for."

I mumbled a thank you.

"I'm glad to hear that you are well enough to leave. Before you do, though, there are some things that need to be discussed. Why don't you take a seat?"

I sat down on the edge of the hospital bed as he dragged a chair from the wall, facing me. I waited.

He smiled, probably trying to ease my anxiousness, but failing miserably. It put me on edge to see those perfectly white, perfectly deadly teeth gleaming at me.

"This may be a bit uncomfortable, but please bear with me. There are pieces of the events of the past few weeks that do not add up. Specifically dealing with the wolf half of you." He waited for me to respond. I nodded at him calmly, but inside my stomach twisted.

"For some reason, your heightened ability to heal has been slowed. Possibly even stopped altogether. When you….when it happened, I suppose you didn't take into consideration your enhanced healing, did you?" I shook my head. "I thought not. Still, even if you hadn't been thinking about it, your body should have naturally acted against the incision into your abdomen. It should have automatically fought against it, trying to heal itself before you lost too much blood. You blood cells should have had to work overtime to make up for all that you had lost. Did you know you had to have several blood transfusions when you arrived?"

My eyes widened. I knew I had lost a lot of blood, but _multiple _transfusion?

He stared at me for a moment before continuing. "Yes, at first I was very surprised to hear that you were even in the hospital. But these things…they just don't add up. I've been wracking my brain for days trying to think of why this happened, how it could have happened…but I haven't thought of anything. I even did some research, looking through a few old texts I have, but still nothing." He looked rather frustrated. I couldn't blame him. I myself had found myself lost in thought for hours at a time, thinking of ways that it was possible that my wolfish powers had failed me. Nothing had come to me so far.

"So….now what?" I asked.

"Now we try harder. I've had Edward and Bella helping me read. We'll keep looking," he assured me.

I growled. "I don't want them doing any favors for me. I won't owe them. I don't want them a part of my life anymore. I'm done." I spat the words, but Carlisle looked unfazed.

"I understand why you would feel that way, but Jake….we could help you."

"No," was my cold reply.

He sighed and shook his head. "If you insist, then I will call Edward and ask him to stop his research." He stood and walked to the door, but stopped just outside the frame. "Jacob, if you ever need help figuring this out….please don't hesitate to call." I just looked at him until he walked away.

I let out a heavy breath and threw myself onto the bed, my arm across my eyes. This was going to be hard. I couldn't handle this. Too much, it was all too much. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to face my father's heartbreak. I didn't want to go back to school in a few weeks. I couldn't face the pack. What would they say? Would they be mad? Would they pity me? Ugh. I didn't even want to imagine it.

There was a knock. I saw my father in the doorway, a sad smile on his face, with a nurse rolling a wheelchair in after him. "What is that?" I asked, looking disdainfully at the chair.

"It's a wheelchair, Jake. To help you out to the car." My father said.

"I think I'll be fine," I said, walking right past them into the lobby. I heard my father sigh behind me, but he didn't push the matter.

After helping my father into our wheelchair accessible car, I slid into the driver's seat. "Jake," my dad said angrily from the back. "What?" I asked defensively.

"You are in no condition to drive." Still with the angry voice. It was starting to irritate me.

"Oh please, Dad. Just hand me the keys." I held my hand out for them. When I didn't feel the cool metal in my hand, I turned to look at him. He was sitting there stubbornly, staring fixedly ahead. I groaned. "How do you propose that we get home, then?" I asked, annoyed. He gestured to something in front of me. There was a man walking toward our car wearing what looked like scrubs. He smiled as he approached us. He peered in through the open window of the passenger side. "I hear you folks need some help getting home?" he asked, that phony smile still plastered on his face.

I sighed loudly and slid out of the driver's seat, into the passenger's side.

"Don't worry. I'll have you home in no time!"

I was about ready to smack that grin right off his face.

**So there you go! I'll be updating soon **


	4. Chapter 4 Life, As Normal As It Can Get

**A/N I'm really surprised at just how much fun I'm having with this story. I have some major things planned so stay tuned :)**

**Read and enjoy!**

**Constructive criticism is appreciated!**

**JESSAPOV**

"JESSA! Jessa Wolf get back here right now! YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH HONEY!"

My shoulders clenched and I squeezed my eyes shut in embarrassment as my father voice filled the parking lot. Giving the lot a quick glance, I rushed to my father's car and grabbed the brown bag dangling from his fingers.

"Thanks Dad." I grumbled, "Now please. _Leave."_

He chuckled at my obvious embarrassment. "I'll see you when you get home, sport." And with one final pat of my head, he was off to work.

I watched him go, wishing that he'd turn around and take me right back home. I slowly spun to face my new hell.

_Sigh. _Well, this was it. Forks High. Where I would be spending the majority of my time for the next few months. Hopefully a very short few months.

Transferring to a new school was always hard. I had done it enough times in my life, what with my father's job always moving us around. No one knows you, you don't have any idea where your classes are, and everybody feels the need to stare at you like you have a third eye smack in the middle of your forehead. It's exhausting.

Then there were the questions. _Will anyone like me? How are the classes here? The teachers? Will I be able to keep up with the course work? _And worst of all: _Will the teacher introduce me in front of the class?_

That part I hated the most. It was always the same. The teacher would ask my name, tell the class to greet me, and then the awkward questioning session would begin. How old am I? Where did I go to school before? Where was I from? What were my hobbies? The whole ordeal was awkward and unnecessarily embarrassing.

"God, I hate this," I mumbled to myself as I made my way to the attendance office.

A motherly looking woman with red hair clad in a purple t-shirt sat at the front desk, sorting through some papers. She waved me over and helped me with my schedule. I found myself zoning out, thinking how my life in Forks was going to play out.

I felt miserable. The white-gray sky cast a dull light over everything, making things look dreary. The only source of color anywhere was the eerie green that spattered the trees and forest floor. It was like stepping into another world, an alien planet. I told myself I just had to make the best of life here.

_Who knows? Maybe I'll actually like it here?_

"…and the last class you have is Chemistry, with Mr. Birdie in building 4. Well, that's all for right now, dear. Please come back if you have any questions." I was snapped out of my daydreaming to see the woman whose name I had already forgotten smiling up at me.

"I…thanks." I said. Great. Now I was going to be lost. What a fantastic way to start out my day. I sighed as I walk out of the comforting warmth of the office and into the chilly drizzle outside.

I glanced at the map of the school that had been mailed to our house a week before school started. There were several building that made up the school, buildings 1 through 4 for the various subjects, and a separate building for the gym and cafeteria. Now the only problem was navigating.

I attempted to make sense of the map for a few minutes, but eventually I gave up and decided to ask for help.

"Hey," I said, tapping the shoulder of a brown haired girl gabbing close to me, "sorry to bother you, its just that I'm new and I'm having a little trouble making sense of this map. Do you think you help me out?"

She turned to face me and I had to resist the urge to gasp. She was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen.

A delicate, heart shaped face framed by thick brown hair and the most unusual golden eyes I had ever seen stared back at me.

"Of course," she said with an infectious smile that curved her full red lips, "let me take a look at your schedule." I deftly handed her my paper. As she was studying my schedule, the person behind her caught my eye.

He was beautiful too. I tried not to stare at his copper brown hair and those same mesmerizing golden eyes.

_Is there something in the water here?_ I thought. Not half a second after it crossed my mind the beautiful boy was trying to hide a smile, almost as if he had heard what I was thinking.

The girl touched my shoulder to get back my attention. I had to force myself not to flinch. "Looks like you have almost exactly the same classes as my friend Angela, except for Italian. If you give me your map I can show you where to go from here." She flashed that inviting smile at me again, but this time I wasn't distracted.

There was something…not right about her teeth. They were too perfect, too… unnerving. It set me on edge to look at them.

I snapped myself out of it, seeing that she was waiting for an answer. "Sure, that would be great," I said, giving the pair of them a nervous smile.

She pointed to a few places on the map, and gave helpful directions on which was the fastest way to get around. "You'll be fine, trust me. I was new here not that long ago. I met some really great people," she said, looking adoringly at the boy standing next to her, who returned the look.

_Ugh. Gag._

He chuckled again. _What is up with that?_ I thought. There was definitely something different about these two.

The boy looked nervously at me and then back at his girlfriend. "We really should get to class, Bella. The bell is about to ring."

"Sure, Edward. It was nice meeting you…"

"Jessa. Jessa Wolf," I offered.

She flashed those freaky teeth again. "Nice meeting you, Jessa!" And she loped off after Edward.

"Weird," I said aloud to myself, watching their departure.

"Right? She used to be really quite, Bella Swan. Ever since she started hanging with the Cullens she's really changed."

I started at the voice suddenly at my side. I turned to see a brown haired girl. "Angela Webber," she said with a sweet smile, sticking her hand out. I took it and introduced myself.

"You're new here." She said matter-of-factly. "Is it really that obvious?" I asked.

"Not really, but there isn't much to talk about in a school of 277 people. Any news spreads fast." I nodded. "Mind if I take a look at your schedule?" I handed her the slightly crumpled paper.

She studied it for a minute, and her face brightened. "We have almost the exact same schedule."

"Yeah. You must be the Angela that Bella mentioned." I said.

She gave a slight frown. "Bella mentioned me? Weird. We don't really talk that much any more, ever since she became best friends with Alice." I could see the slight hurt in her eyes. I hated to see anyone look like that, especially a girl as nice as Angela.

"Well, maybe you can show me around a little? Help me to my classes?" I asked.

Her expression changed almost immediately. "I'd love to!" she said, taking my hand. "First period is this way." I followed her all the way to our first class. Maybe it really wouldn't be so bad here.

**JAKEPOV**

_Climbing higher and higher. Every step takes me closer. All I want is to escape... I just want to fall and keep falling. Feel the icy wind slicing into my every poor. Every inch of me doused in water._

_I can almost feel it. The water is getting closer. The tear keeps widening, deepening. I see the water below me turning red, churning faster and faster. I'm almost there…almost…_

"JAKE! WAKE UP! SCHOOL!"

I sprang bolt upright, panting. Sweat dripping everywhere, soaking my bed in perspiration. My heart slowly stopped trying to bust a hole through my chest and I let my head fall back onto my pillow, closing my eyes.

This wasn't the first time I had had a nightmare like that. They had been terrorizing me since I'd gotten home from the hospital. Almost every night I found myself falling, falling…

I shook my head and ran my hands over my face. Time to get up. After calling out to my father that I was up, I stripped out of my sweaty pajama pants and hopped into the shower.

I stood there for a moment, letting the hot spray wash away all the memories of the dream. Soon enough, there was a banging on the bathroom door. "Jake! You're going to be late!" I sighed and quickly washed myself, hopped out and dried off.

I was walking back to my room wrapped in a towel when I saw Embry and Quil in the living room down the hall. They took in my half-naked self and snickered at each other, before their eyes unconsciously slid to the jagged scar that was peaking out of my towel.

I hurriedly walked into my room and quickly got dressed, towel drying my hair as I made my way into the kitchen.

The reunion with the pack after I returned from the hospital had been… difficult. Mostly it involved my initial deflection of their questions and then strained conversation, everyone trying to pretend that it was completely normal for me to have been gone for as long as I was.

After the awkward first encounter, we had fallen into a kind of rhythm. They didn't ask any more questions, and I didn't offer any answers. Simple as that.

Except that it wasn't. I could tell that the first time I phased back into a wolf that they were all salivating for more information on what had happened. They were just waiting for me to slip up and think about it while we were on patrol. Except it never happened. I was too careful.

It hurt to keep things from them, made me feel that I was somehow betraying them. But I just wasn't ready for it yet. Later, when I had figured everything out myself, but right now… it just wasn't possible.

I still had no idea who my savior was. The one and only time I brought up the incident with anyone other than my therapist was when I had asked my dad about the mystery man. He told me that the guy had jumped in, saved me, and then disappeared. Simple as that.

In a way I was grateful, though. Dealing with yet another person who wanted me to talk was not something that I needed at the moment.

The weeks that had passed since I got home had been mostly uneventful. I patrolled with Embry and Quil, hung out at the beach with the pack a couple times. Mostly, though, I turned down their invitations. I hated being near that stupid cliff.

Life went on as normal. Well, almost normal. Mostly I just tried not to think about anything hard. But those nightmares just kept coming back.

"Seriously, Jake. You gotta hurry up, man. I don't feeling like enduring the wrath of Principal Stec for being late on the first day of school." Quil's impatient voice sounded from the living room.

"Sure, sure. I'm coming." I said, stuffing a granola bar into my mouth before following them out the door and into Embry's waiting car.

I slid into the back seat as my friends chatted about sports or something. Staring out of windows had become a favorite past time of mind recently. It took Quil 3 tries to get my attention.

"Jake! Really, what is up with you today? Pay attention," he said, reaching around his seat to thump my shoulder. I growled at him.

Embry laughed "Lighten up, buddy. We're almost at school."

"Awesome." I grumbled. They both laughed at my grumpiness.

We were ambushed by Paul and Sam as we entered the La Push High campus. 'Hey guys!" said Paul cheerily, not the usual emotion exuded by our volatile friend. "Me and Sam are planning a trip to First Beach this weekend. To kick off the new year. You in?"

Quil and Embry both accepted enthusiastically. They turned to me. "What about you, Jake?" Sam asked cautiously. They all waited.

I looked at all their faces, waiting for my reply.

It was about time I started acting more normally again. Maybe a trip to First Beach was exactly what I needed. "Sure. Yeah I'm in."

They all smiled and knocked my shoulders. The bell rang and everyone dispersed to first period, except Sam.

"It's nice to have you back, Jake. We really need you. Things haven't been the same since….well, it's good to see everything going back to normal." he said, giving me an encouraging smile. Then he was gone, and I found I was the last on standing in the courtyard.

I hurried off to my first class.

**JESSAPOV**

I had successfully made it through my first day at Forks High without any severe damage to myself or my reputation. This was a good sign.

I was headed to my car to escape when I heard a voice calling my name.

"Jessa! Wait up!" I turned to see Angela following me. She was trailed by her boyfriend Ben and a girl whose name I think was Jessica Stanley.

"What's up?" I asked once she finally reached me, breathing heavily for a moment.

After she caught her breath she started, "Ben, Jessica, and I were wondering if you wanted to join us this weekend on a trip to First Beach? We're inviting a whole bunch of people and I thought maybe it'd give you a good opportunity to meet some new people. There will probably be some kids from the reservation there too. What do you say?" She looked hopefully up at me.

How could I say no to a face like that?

"Yeah, sounds really fun Angela. Just text me the details later ok?" She nodded and walked back over to Ben and Jessica.

I had a feeling that this was going to be an interesting weekend.


	5. Chapter 5 Coming Apart, Falling Together

**A/N These chapters just keep getting longer and longer. I don't know what it is, but I just keep writing more and more.**

**For the sake of this story, Angela is a year younger than Bella and Edward. She and all the other Forks kids mentioned haven't graduated, and Bella and Edward took time off to try to get rid of Victoria so they haven't graduated either, but they are older. Got it? Good.**

**As always, thanks guys for reading and reviewing. It means a lot. You guys rock!**

**I own nothing Twilight. (gotta remember to put these things in here)**

**JAKEPOV**

**Friday Afternoon**

It had been a long, uneventful week at school. I hadn't gotten a lot of homework the first few days, so I didn't have much to occupy my time besides regular patrols.

I found myself lying in bed after school, staring at the ceiling and looking for shapes in the textured tiles. My mind began to wander. I started to think of _her_.

I couldn't believe she had chosen to go back to Forks High. The bloodsucker and she had missed enough school last year, having taken off to hunt that redheaded chick, that they had been held back. Still, school hadn't stopped her from letting that leach drain her. I hadn't seen her in person since it happened, but Sam's memories after renegotiating the terms of the treaty with the Cullens had been enough. Apparently she had some kind of super human self control that allowed her to be around people without going bat shit insane from bloodlust…

I winced, the pain in my stomach flaring again. I had to stop this. I had to get over her. She was gone, dead. It was over.

I sighed, shoving these thoughts into the back of my head. I couldn't deal with this right now.

I skulked into the kitchen and searched around the cupboard until I found my pain meds. I popped a couple and chased them down with water straight from the tap.

My eyes wandered out the kitchen window, and I saw that it had stopped raining. I had a sudden urge to go for a walk down the beat.

I grabbed my raincoat and keys and I was out the door.

The green molded plastic of the shed caught my eye as I headed for the truck. I paused and looked at it for a moment.

Maybe I could…

No. Absolutely not. I was not going to go there. Not today.

I opened the door to my truck determinedly, but the image of the stupid shed still stuck in my brain.

Maybe…maybe just _one_ peak….

The door to the shed slid open with a clang. Inside was dark, and the swirling dust made me cough. I swatted it away from my mouth, still coughing as my hand slid along the wall, searching for a switch. My fingers found it quickly and I flicked the light on.

I froze.

There it was, in the exact same place I had left it. Just sitting there with a thin sheet of dust coating the shiny black paint. I walked toward it slowly, almost tripping clumsily on tool strewn across the floor. I laughed at the irony. I was turning into _her_.

When I finally reached the middle of the shed, I ran my hands lightly over the curve of the body. I pulled my hand away with dust coated fingertips.

My motorcycle, in all it's glory, leaned slightly to one side, supported by its kickstand.

I straddled the seat, my hands gripping the handles tightly.

And suddenly, I was speeding past the side of the house, down the driveway, and onto the street.

It was exhilarating. The wind sliding its hand's through my hair, across my shoulders, and down my back as I sped through the open air. I took a sharp turn left; heading for a long road that I knew was usually empty.

I rode down the dirt path, kicking up a cloud of reddish brown dust behind me. I let out a heavy laugh. Now _this_ was living. This was _excitement_. I could feel myself getting high off the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

Eyes bright, heart racing, I let out a howling yell that turned into another laugh. The path suddenly took a sharp turn, and I banked right.

I was addicted to this feeling. I never wanted it to end. I was so caught up in it that I barely noticed when the road sloped upward and started to get extremely uneven. I kept riding.

I tried to let out another yell, but it stuck in my throat and I braked, _hard_.

Everything stopped. The world seemed to still around me. It took me a moment to realize what had just happened, where I was. My heart seemed like it would never slow in my chest. I looked around, confused.

I was on top of the cliff.

If I hadn't stopped, I would have thrown myself right off the edge. I let out a whimper and half fell off the bike, stumbling in my haste to back away from the cliff's edge.

A new adrenaline spiked in my blood. This time it was feared that sent my heart racing. I had almost…

No. _No_. This wasn't happening.

I shook my head and fell to my knees, my head in my hands. I started when I realized I was shaking. I held my hand in front of my face in horror.

Shocked tears stung my eyes and I pushed hard against them with my palms, still shaking. It was no use. They spilled over and slid down my face, falling softly into the soil beneath me.

I threw myself at the ground, beating it with my fist. I let out a loud cry of agony as the pain ripped through me again and again in waves, threatening to tear me to shreds once again.

I stopped abruptly, staring at the cliff edge. I inched toward it, and peered over the edge.

Fear wracked my body again and I scrambled backwards onto my back. I shot up onto my feet and grabbed my bike, running for the path I had taken up here. I stumbled all the way to the path, but I made it. I finally jumped onto the bike and sped as fast as I could down the dirt road.

Away from here.

**JESSAPOV**

**Friday Night**

I threw the 10th outfit back into the closet with all the other disasters. What was I supposed to wear to this little gathering tomorrow? I had tried sweatpants, but that seemed too casual. Jeans were definitely in, but what should I wear them with? A hoodie? T-shirt? Well, the weather wouldn't permit that one. Maybe a nice cardigan. Yeah, that would work.

As I searched through my closet I heard someone come in. "Yes, dad?" I said, recognizing the sound of his footsteps.

"How do you always do that?" he frowned. I grinned "It's a gift." I said.

"Yeah, well, it freaks me out," he said, smiling. I laughed.

"So, you're going to this party tomorrow?" he said. I didn't like where this was going.

"Yeah, dad. It's not really a party, though. Just a few people meeting up to hang out for a while."

The frown returned. "That sounds like a party to me."

I just rolled my eyes and said, "Think whatever you want, old man. It's not a big deal." I finally found my gray cardigan and turned to face him. He looked troubled. "What is it dad?" I asked.

"Well, it's just that…I'm nervous. You don't really know these people, do you?" Always the concerned parent. "Sure, dad. But this is how I get to know them. We hang out, become friends. I've been doing it for 16 years," I informed him.

"I suppose," he still sounded worried. I sighed and sat down on my queen sized bed. "Dad. Listen to me. I promise I'll be careful, okay? If anything bad happens, I'll leave. Or I'll call you. I promise. Okay?"

"That does make me feel a little better. You are so mature for your age, you know that Jessa? It makes me so proud that I don't have to worry about you as much as other parents worry about their kids." He did look comforted by this fact.

"Thank you, dad. Now I really have to get ready for bed. Do you mind?" I gestured at the door.

"Alright, kiddo. I'll see you in the morning. Love you." He walked out the door and I called out after him, "Love you too!"

I was really starting to look forward to this party.

**JAKEPOV**

**Saturday Night**

After my encounter with the cliff the day before, I was still a little shaken. I think my friends could tell that something was off.

"Jake, are you okay? You seem kind of distracted." Quil looked at me with concern.

"He's fine. What we really need to worry about is getting this stupid fire started. Maybe instead of moping around in the corner he could actually do something productive for a change."

Oh, Leah. What a sweetheart.

I laid my jacket on the sand next to me and grudgingly stood up from beach-wood log I was sitting on. I bent over the stack of logs with the rest of my friends.

"No, Embry, stop. You're doing it all wrong. You can't just toss the match on the logs and wish it on fire. Give me that." Seth grabbed for the box of matched, but Embry dodged him.

"Quit it, Seth. You're gonna make me drop them!" he complained. "Well then let me see them already." Seth retorted.

"Both of you are idiots. Give them to me, I'll start it." Quil interjected.

"Oh shut up, Quil. Remember what happened last time you tried to start the fire? You used up all our matches and I had to go all the way back home and get another box." Leah snapped. Sam looked like he was about ready punch any one of them. "Where is Paul with the rest of the kindling?" he asked.

I sighed loudly and snatched the box away from Embry. "Hey!" he whined. I sent him a look, and he shut up. I struck a math and bent down to reach the bottom of the pile, igniting the old newspapers and scraps of kindling we had placed there. Within a few seconds it began to spread. Soon the whole stack was blazing.

"Nice work, Jake." Sam said, relieved; "Now we can all just sit back and relax."

"I still could have done it," Seth mumbled under his breath. I sighed and sat back down onto my log.

Paul finally appeared at the edge of the woods, carrying an armful of logs and twigs. "About time! Jake started the fire already." Quil told him. "I can see that. When are the Forks kids getting here, Sam?" Paul asked.

Sam checked his watch. "Anytime now, I guess. I told them 6. Its 5:57"

Sure enough, as soon as the words had left Sam's mouth, 2 cars came rolling down the road toward us.

As we watched them approach, I couldn't help the weird feeling that settled in my stomach. It wasn't fear, exactly. More like anxiousness. For some reason I couldn't identify, I couldn't wait to see the Forks kids.

I shook my head and told myself to stop it. I was just comparing this moment with the first time I met Bella. That was all.

Even when she wasn't here, I couldn't escape her.

I closed my eyes, ignoring the sounds of my pack mates bickering, trying to escape the thoughts swirling around in my head.

I heard car doors slamming, and the chatter of the Forks kids reached my ears. I drew in a deep breath and opened my eyes.

And then my world tilted.

**JESSAPOV**

**20 minutes before the party.**

I was panicking.

I'm not the kind to worry too much about appearances, but right now I was having a mental breakdown.

"Ok, the cardigan with the red top? Or the hoodie with the purple top?" I said aloud to myself.

I was staring at my very un-clothed self in the mirror, holding two possible outfits up for inspection.

Why did this have to be so difficult? And why was I worrying about it so much? I had no idea why, but for some reason I had this feeling that something big was going to happen tonight. I needed to look great.

"Or…or I could wear the cardigan with the purple top."

I tried this 800th combination on. _Perfect._ I admired myself in the mirror for a few seconds.

I had lightly lined my eyes with charcoal, and dabbed on some mascara. It suited my light blue eyes. My Long, blonde hair fell halfway down my ribcage, teased into loose curls.

I was ready. Right on time too, as I heard a blaring honk from the front of the house. I grabbed my cardigan and was out the door.

When I had slid into backseat next to Jessica (who, might I add, wore a heavy winter jacket and more makeup than a clown), Angela (also wearing a winter jacket) turned to me and said "Ready?" with the biggest smile I had ever seen.

"Sure," I replied, a bit nervously. We were off.

"Mike is taking Ben and Eric in his car, and we're picking up Lauren Mallory on the way there. She lives right outside the rez." I nodded.

In a shorter time than I had expected, we had Lauren and were entering La Push. It was even more amazing than I had expected. The forest was interrupted every so often by houses, growing closer and closer together as we got nearer to the center of La push. An ocean appeared to the left of us suddenly, and eventually we came to a wide open beach. First beach.

I could see the tongues of a fire licking upwards toward the sky and a group of boys around it. All of whom were wearing winter jackets. Apparently, I had misses the memo because as soon as I noticed that Mike and his friends were here already, I could see they were also wearing heavy jackets. _Damn it. _I thought.

We stepped out of the car and made our way over to the fire.

The La Push kids were a curious group. I saw two large boys shoving each other over what looked like a box of matches, and a slightly scrawnier boy egging them on. What looked like the oldest sat and watched them exasperatedly, while the only girl sat in the corner and sulked. Yet another larger boy tended to the fire. The last one looked like he was asleep.

The curious thing was that every one of them, even the snobby looking girl sitting in the corner, had the air of… a family. The way they interacted with each other was so close and personal, like they had no secrets, or they could read each others minds. It looked strange, but at the same time… inviting. I felt a strange pull too them, as If I wanted to be a part of their family.

_What are you thinking, Jessa? You don't even know these people. _I really needed to get a grip on myself before I said something stupid.

Angela, Mike, and the rest of the group had already started mingling. I found myself standing at the edge of the circle, awkwardly watching them. I was walking over to Angela to try to make myself feel included, when something caught my attention.

It was the boy that had been sleeping. He was staring at me.

Not _staring, _exactly. More like gazing. He looked at with awe struck eyes, jaw hanging open, like he was looking at some kind of angel or goddess. He didn't take his eyes off me as I looked at him. Just kept staring at me like a deer caught in headlights.

I had no idea what to do with myself, so I just stood there looking back at him. It took me a moment to get over the shock of being gaped at, but once I had I started to notice a few things about the boy.

He had jet black hair, shaggily hanging just past his ears. His eyes were the most mesmerizing shade of brown, so dark they looked almost black. His skin was smooth and tan and I could see large chorded muscles lying beneath it, bulging and straining through his long sleeved shirt as he clenched his fists on his knees.

We stayed like that, staring stupidly at each other for a good three minutes.

"Jessa?" Angela's voice snapped me out of whatever daydream I had been caught in. It seemed to have woken him up too, because his jaw snapped shut and his fists relaxed slightly. Even so, he continued to stare at me with those eyes…

"Jessa!" I snapped back to attention once again. What was this boy doing to me? "Yeah. What?" I said distractedly.

"Um… well I was going to introduce you to the La Push kids if that's okay…" She looked at me with concern. "Sure," I said weakly.

"This," she said, pointing to the two boys who had been fighting before, "is Quil and Embry. The guy tending to the fire is Paul. That's Leah in the corner there, and her little brother Seth. Sam is here. And this is Jacob."

_Jacob_. What a sexy name.

I shook my head and greeted everyone. They all greeted me back except Leah who shot me a sour look, and Jacob who still looked a little lost in his head. Everyone went back to their chatter and I found myself standing alone again.

I simply could not stop looking at Jacob. Every time I glanced at him my I could feel my heart race and my knees shake. I began to feel light headed and decided it was time to sit down. Naturally, I made my way to the empty log next to Jacob and sat.

"Hi." I said quietly, looking down. _Oh, brilliant Jessa. Hi?_ _Really? Is that all you can come up with?_

He seemed to have composed himself a little and said, "Hi."

_Oh that voice!_ It sent my heart into frenzy all over again. It was so deep and warm. I could listen to him talk all day.

"I'm Jessa," I said.

He smiled brightly, "Yeah, I know."

Of course he knew. Angela had just introduced me not 3 minutes ago. I mentally kicked myself.

I gave a nervous laugh, "Yeah, I guess you do."

We fell silent again.

"I just moved-"

"It's nice to meet-"

We both started speaking at the same time and stopped. He chuckled and I blushed. "You go," Jacob offered.

"Well, I was going to say that I just moved here." I offered, attempting to start some sort of conversation.

"Where from?" he asked. "Well, everywhere, I suppose," I said, looking out across the lake, "My dad's job makes us move around a lot. I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, but I've lived in California, Texas, and Colorado."

He whistled. "That must be hard, moving around like that. Can't make many close friends." He seemed to realize that he was being tactless and tried to backpedal, "I mean I'm sure you have friends. I just mean-"

I cut him off, waving my hand dismissively. "It's fine, I get it. It's true, though. I've been to at least 4 different schools. It really doesn't give you a chance to make a lot of friends. My dad is promising that we won't move again, but I'm not letting my hopes get too high," I said with a sad smile.

"There's just one thing that bothers me, though. I wanted to go to La Push High, but there was a problem with work and… and it just didn't happen. Hopefully, though, everything will get sorted and I can transfer in a few months."

"_You_ were going to go to La Push High?" he asked, eyebrows raised. I looked at him and nodded. "Usually they only let kids that live on the reservation attend. I don't think I've ever heard of an outsider even trying to get in."

"Well, yes. That is true. But my dad is doing some work with the doctors here in La Push, and they know some people on the school board, so as a favor to him they were going to let me be the exception." I informed him. He looked impressed.

"That's a shame. We would have been classmates." He looked genuinely upset. More upset than was probably normal.

I shook my head, "I don't think so." I said, "You look like a senior. I'm only a junior." He looked at me. "You could tell I was a senior just by looking at me?" he asked, eyes inquiring. I blushed again and looked down. "Yeah. I kind of have a way of…reading people." God, how embarrassing. I sounded so stupid. When I looked back up he was gazing at me with those eyes of his again. They were like coal, smoldering at me.

I noticed Jacob's friends sneaking looks at us. He noticed it too, and it seemed to change something in him. He sat up straighter, and I noticed for the first time that we had been leaning closer and closer as we talked, oblivious to everyone else until our little bubble had been popped. Even Angela and Jessica were shooting me puzzled looks.

The sun had gone down and now all the light that was left was the subtle glow from over the horizon and our slowly dwindling fire. The temperature had dropped considerably and I shivered in my flimsy cardigan.

Jacob looked concernedly at me. "Don't you have a jacket?" he asked, almost accusingly. "I'm not used to the weather here, I didn't know it would get so cold," I said defensively. My stomach fluttered when he laughed lightly and handed me his brown jacket. "Here, put this on before you get sick."

"Don't you need it? I don't want you to suffer because of my thoughtlessness." I protested. He flashed me a dazzling smile and said, "Trust me. I'll be fine." I nodded and shrugged on his jacket.

It smelled fantastic. I breathed in his deep husky scent. It smelled earthy and warm, with the subtle scent of the sea. I closed my eyes and tried not to bury my face in the fabric. My body almost instantly flooded with warmth.

I sighed loudly. Opening my eyes, I saw that he was smiling at me. I could feel myself blushing once again.

_What is up with me today?_

I never acted like this. Especially when it came to guys. This just simply was not me. Jacob was doing something to me.

_I think I like it. No… I _know_ I like it._

I smiled back at him and his gaze slipped back into that awe struck look. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I felt as if I could get lost in him.

We were snapped back to reality by a handful of wet sand hitting Jacob square in the side of the head. He whipped around to see who had thrown it, and the boys who I think were called Quil and Embry were looking at us mischievously.

For a second Jacob looked like he was going to murder someone, but then he ducked down, gathered a clump in his hand, and chucked it straight for Embry's chest. Bull's-eye. The boys all joined in, chucking sand-balls and roaring with laughter as the girls screamed and tried to protect their hair.

I laughed loudly as chaos ensued.

**WOW! I cannot believe I just wrote that much. It took forever. Sorry for not updating for a few days! I hope this chapter makes up for it.**

**Aren't Jessa and Jake cute? Review and tell me what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6 The SortOf Date

**I'm terrible. I am SO sorry for the long update. Things have been crazy at school and I've had a ton of project and whatnot to work on.**

**It's almost time for me to go home for the holidays, though, and I can assure you that I'll be able to focus better on writing.**

**I've decided to put the outfits I describe in my profile, so check 'em out!**

**Please review and enjoy :). Twilight isn't mine, but I wish Jake was :(**

**JAKEPOV**

It was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

What happened when I saw her… was indescribable. Incredible. Unbelievable. It was like nothing else mattered but her.

As soon as I saw her perfect face, I knew she was it. She was going to save me. My heart broke and expanded a million times over as I gazed at my angel.

That blond hair that fell like honey over her shoulders, those beautiful blue doe eyes that begged to be stared into, that slender figure that sloped in soft curves, both delicate and delicious, was too much. I thought I would explode.

_Jessa._

I sighed, smiling.

"Jake!" I jumped at the sound of Ms. Kinsworthy's agitated voice. "Sorry?" I asked.

"Please answer the question." She said, looked down at me over her thin nose. I stuttered, "Wh-what problem are we on again?" I scrambled for the worksheet we were going over. The class snickered.

She sighed and looked at me disapprovingly. "Jake, if you can't pay attention for five minutes I'll be forced to send you to the office." I smiled sheepishly and mumbled an apology. She sighed again. "Honestly, what has gotten into you?"

"I bet _I_ know what's gotten into him," Quil muttered under his breath. Embry and Paul snorted. Damn my chemistry table. Damn them to hell.

"Shut it," I hissed. They laughed harder. I studiously ignored them, keeping my eyes on my paper.

Twenty minutes later, the bell signaling the end of the day rang. We stood up and made our way to the lockers. I was entering my combination when Sam sidled up next to me, smiling deviously.

"Heyyy Jake." He said, that stupid grin still plastered on his face. "I barely glanced at him. "Hey." I said shortly, not trusting the direction this conversation was taking.

"So…." He trailed, oblivious to my apprehension.

"So?" I retorted, slamming my locker shut and slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

"So. About Saturday night…" What was it with him and that creepy smile?

"What about it?" I said, still not looking at him walking next to me as we made our way to the car.

"What about it? Jessa! That's what about it! You and Jessa!" I looked at him, fighting to keep my face blank.

"Oh come _on_, Jake!" he said, rolling his eyes, "You can't honestly tell me you don't know what I'm talking about! I saw it. _Everyone_ saw it. Even the Forks kids could tell something was up. You imprinted on her." He said mater-of-factly.

I couldn't stop the stupid grin that stuck to my face. "_Yes_! I _knew _it! It's brilliant, isn't it?" He said excitedly. "It's just a click. Like you just know." His face fell into a dreamy expression, and I could only assume he was thinking about Emily.

"Jake, we have to tell everyone. Emily is going to be so excited." He was grinning at me again.

It was my turn to roll my eyes, "You act like I just found the cure for cancer or something, Sam," I said. He really was more excited than I had anticipated. I guess knowing what it's like changes your view about it.

Before, I was desperate to imprint, thinking it would solve all my problems. I would go into the city and just watch girls all day, hoping I would find the one. That was selfish, though. This was real.

"Alright, we'll tell them. Even though I'm sure they already know." I conceded.

He snorted. "Yeah, asking for the day of patrol yesterday wasn't a huge giveaway or anything."

I shrugged and he laughed.

When we got back to Sam and Emily's place, Sam obnoxiously yelled that I had an announcement from the door. I glared at him, but he just grinned and sat down, folding his hands politely as everyone found their way to the kitchen.

They all waited patiently.

I shuffled my feet nervously and looked down. What was wrong with me? This wasn't usually how I acted.

"Well, um, I have an announcement. Like Sam just said." They looked up at me expectantly.

I couldn't help the huge grin that suddenly spread across my face. "I imprinted. On Jessa."

Emily screamed and launched herself at me, wrapping me in a warm hug. I laughed through her death grip, "Emily! Emily calm down." She loosened her grip and smiled up at me. Even with her scars, she was still beautiful. I smiled back at my sister.

Embry and Paul shot each other knowing glances, and Quil got up to pat me on the back. "We know, man. We know."

Seth had a bewildered look on his face, "Is _that_ why you were all gooey lovey dovey with that chick on Saturday?"

Everyone rolled their eyes at him. I actually laughed a reaction that had been unlike me recently. Normally I would have snapped at him for a comment like that. "Yes, Seth. Yes it is."

I waited to see Leah's reaction last. It was no secret that she was not a fan of imprinting. Just as I had expected, she was scowling at the floor. Well, at least most of my friends were happy for me.

Paul's face suddenly brightened, "Jake! You have to invite her over!" There were words of agreement. I panicked "So soon? Are you sure? I mean… I don't want to freak her out." I said nervously.

"You got her number, right?" Quil asked. I nodded. We had exchanged numbers as they were leaving. "And have you called her yet?" I shook my head. There were exasperated sighs.

"Well, it's only been, like, a day!" I said defensively.

"Jake, listen to me," Paul said, putting his arm around my shoulders, which I shook off immediately, "You have to let her know you're interested early. Girls don't like waiting around. I mean, how do you know she didn't get asked out by someone at school today?" I panicked at his words.

_Shit, _I thought, _I'm such an idiot!_ "Ok, ok, I'll call her right now." I whipped out my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I found Jessa Wolf. I hit send.

My palms slicked as I heard the first ring. _What am I doing? She's going to think I'm nuts._

The second ring sounded and I looked around at my brothers and sisters. _This is so stupid._

A third ring. Maybe she wouldn't even pick up?

A fourth ring. "She isn't picking-" I started, cut short by the sound of a soft voice. "Hello?" it said. I froze. Her voice was so adorable. Not too high-pitched, but still sweet and musical. Sam snapped to bring me back to attention, I hadn't responded yet.

"Oh. I um…Hi." I stuttered. I cringed in embarrassment. _Really, Jake? Really? That's all you got?_

"Hi Jake," she giggled. I could hear another girl in the background. Angela maybe?

"Yeah, hi Jessa," _for the love of God, stop saying 'hi' already! _"I was just calling to ask you something."

"And what would that be?" she asked curiously.

"Well, I was just wondering if maybe… you wanted to come up to La Push and hang out some time? Just you and me?" Emily had crossed her fingers.

There was a pause, and I could hear soft giggles and whispers. Then she was back "Yeah Jake. That sounds great." She said. A smile lit up my face as the pack cheered. I shushed them franticly and said excitedly, "Awesome, how about Friday after school? I can come pick you up."

"Perfect." She agreed. "Alright, well I'll talk to you soon." I said.

"Bye, Jake." And the phone went dead.

I turned to my smiling pack, as Emily threw herself at me again, laughing.

The wait until Friday was excruciating, thought the texts sent back and forth between Jessa and me had helped considerably.

Still, I couldn't focus in class, my mind drifting to thoughts of Jessa. Her hair, her skin, her smile. She was hypnotic. By Friday I had almost been sent to the office four times. I didn't care though, because the day had finally come. It was almost time to see her.

I had driven myself to school, determined to get ready at home before anyone else got there first. Nothing was going to ruin this day.

I brushed my teeth, brushed my hair (not like it mattered, it would always be a mess), and sprayed on some kind of smelly guy perfume I stole from Paul.

I stood there for a minute, glancing over myself in the mirror. Everything seemed fine until I saw something around my waist...

The shirt I was wearing wasn't thick enough, and my ragged scar created a bump in the thin material.

My breath caught in my throat. I had gone a full 6 days without giving the ugly scar so much as a single thought. Not even when I showered in the morning did I take notice, so eager to be awake and re-living the dream from the night before, which were almost always about Jessa.

I took a moment to calm myself down.

_No need to panic. Just grab a different shirt. It's fine. You're fine. _I thought, trying to steady my breathing.

I rushed to my closet and grabbed a shirt at random, throwing it on. A thick green long sleeved shirt. Prefect. I marched right back to the mirror, squared my shoulders, and inspected myself. The bump was nearly invisible. I could do this. My dad wished me luck as I grabbed my gray hoodie.

I rushed to the car, realizing how much time I had wasted. The rest of the pack was on their way to Sam's house and stopped by to give me some last minute advice. I waved them off and got in the car. I would see them Sam's in about half an hour.

I could do this. Everything was going to be fine.

Almost as soon as I had started the car, it began to rain.

**JESSAPOV**

I paced back and forth across my room, waiting. Why hadn't I told him I would drive myself down? Now I was stuck here, worrying. At least if I had driven myself it would have given me some time to think.

I'd learned my lesson from the last time I went out. Me and Angela had picked my outfit on Tuesday. I was wearing comfortable jeans and a tan long sleeved sweater. I'd added a cozy fall jacket to the outfit, just in case, and vans completed the look. Angela had curled my hair half an hour ago, and dabbed on some mascara and eyeliner. I wanted to look nice, but casual at the same time.

I was way over thinking this. Never before had I worried so much about my appearance. This boy was changing something in me.

I had told my parents about the, uh, date. My dad had been apprehensive at first, but eventually he accepted it. My mom had just about busted when I broke the news.

"Oh Jessa! You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! You've never told us much about any of the other boys except for Alex." I shot her a warning glance when she'd brought up that name. I didn't want to associate any of those memories with Jake.

Now I sat in my room, wondering how exactly this day was going to go.

As soon as I heard the crunch of gravel beneath tires I all but sprinted to my window. I saw a big beat up truck pull into our driveway. A moment later I heard my mom from the bottom of the stairs.

"Jessa!" my mom called in a sing-song voice, "There's someone here to see you!"

I was going to punch her.

I sighed loudly and called back, "Coming mom!"

I took a deep breath to battle the nerves and ran downstairs, almost falling on my face in the process.

I peered around the corner of the hall to see my mom smiling hugely at a nervous looking Jake.

I took a moment to give him a once over before making my presence known. He was absolutely breath taking in loose jeans that hung low on his hips and a long sleeved green shirt.

I walked down the hall and smiled at him. He returned the gesture, leaning against the doorframe. I turned to my dear mother and coughed loudly, giving her a pointed look.

"Oh, you two have fun, alright? Jessa, be back by 10." I nodded at her and Jake stepped on the porch, giving me a chance to grab my jacket.

My mom grabbed my arm and leaned toward my ear, "He's cute!" She whispered loudly.

"_Mom,_" I hissed, looking at Jake to make sure he hadn't heard. I could see he was trying hard not to laugh.

_Great._ I scowled at her. She just smiled unapologetically and shut the door in my face. I plastered a smile on my face and turned back to Jake.

He laughed grabbed my hand, pulling me quickly through the rain and to the car. I reached for the passenger side handle, but he beat me to it, opening the door and gesturing for me to proceed inside.

"Thanks," I said, and slid into the car.

I watched him walk around and slide into the driver's seat.

"I think I like your mom," he said seriously. I groaned and he barked out a laugh. I couldn't help but smile at him as he did. His happiness was infectious.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded and he pulled out into the street.

"So what are we doing today?" I asked. We had been talking a lot all week, but for some reasons we had both avoided the subject of our sort-of date.

"Well, I thought I'd introduce you to my friends, first." He waited for my response.

"I've already met your friends," I pointed out.

"Yes, but that was one time. And you and I talked for most of the night." I smiled at the memory. "But if you don't want to…" he sounded unsure. "I would love to meet them again." I assured him. "Perfect." He said, smiling.

Conversation failed us for a few minutes, and I took the opportunity to just look at him. It was cute, the way he concentrated when he drove. His brow furrowed slightly and he pursed his lips every time he turned.

When we were about five minutes away, he started talking again. "Uh, I guess I should warn you. My friends are a…interesting group. They aren't very…tactful. They tend to speak their minds. So just…be prepared, ok?" he sounded nervous.

"I think I can handle them." I said cockily.

"Oh really? Well, we'll see, won't we?" he scoffed.

We drove through an opening on the side of the road between two large pines, and up to a little red-brown house obscured by the trees. He parked and quickly hopped out and around to open my door before I had the chance to undo my seatbelt. Damn, was he fast.

We walked to the door and he paused before opening it. "Ready?" he asked. "I guess so," I said, not as confident as I had been a few minutes before.

"Here goes nothing," he said, so softly I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear, and opened the door.

I was not prepared for what waited us inside.

**AH! Cliff hanger, I know! Sorry :). But not really.**

**So how do you like it? Review, add to story alert, author alert, whatever! Thanks guys. Your comments make this all worth while. I love you all.**

**-Emily**


	7. Chapter 7 A Sneeze, A Kiss

**Prepare for the next chapter! This one is going to be all about them. I have some things planned, don't you worry ;).**

**Read and enjoy, as always!**

**I don't own twilight. Oh the things I would do to that sexy werewolf if I did…**

**JAKEPOV**

I was nervous, to say the least. As we drove to the house all I could think of were all the things that could go wrong. I just knew Paul or Embry was going to say something stupid, or offend her in some way. I decided that preparing her would be the best way to defend against a crisis.

"Uh, I guess I should warn you. My friends are a…interesting group. They aren't very…tactful. They tend to speak their minds. So just…be prepared, ok?" I sounded nervous, even to my own ears.

"I think I can handle them." She said confidently.

I laughed disbelievingly at her comment. She really had no idea what she was in for. "Oh really? Well, we'll see, won't we?"

I drove into Sam and Emily's front yard and quickly got out of the car to open her door.

We walked to the door and I hesitated for a second. "Here goes nothing," I said under my breath. I turned the handle and opened the door.

_Oh no. _My face fell as I took in the room. Every single member of the pack was sitting in the kitchen, waiting.

They all stared at us as we walked in, smiling their huge grins. Emily sprang from her seat and immediately took Jessa's hand in hers. "Hi! I'm Emily. I've heard all about you from Jake," I closed my eyes in embarrassment at that, "Why don't you come sit with us at the table?" Emily didn't give her much of a chance to respond before she dragged her to the empty seat at the head of the table. The poor girl looked scared.

She was thrust into the chair and the questions began immediately. "So, I hear you just moved here?" Emily asked. The whole room seemed to lean forward in anticipation of her answer.

Before she could respond she gave the cutest high-pitched sneeze I've ever heard into her elbow. "Sorry. Yeah. I did. I came from Denver, Colorado." She sneezed again.

"Really? Denver. That's so cool. What's it like?" Seth asked. "Its-" she gave yet another sneeze "-alright I guess. Just another town like all the others I've lived in."

"All the others?" Leah asked. She really surprised me. Leah must have been really curious about this girl. "Have you lives in more than just Denver and Forks?" She sneezed once more while Leah was talking. "Yes. I've moved around a lot. My dad is a diagnostic practitioner, and his work moves us around a lot." Another sneeze. I was starting to worry about her, even though they were quite adorable.

"Diagnostic? Like House?" Quil asked. She laughed. "Yeah I suppose, a little like that."

"So Jake tells us you wanted to go to La Push High?" Paul asked. She seemed to be getting a little more confident. "Yes, but there was a problem at work and I don't think I'll be able to anymore. At least for a little while." And… another sneeze. This was getting ridiculous.

"Are you ok?" I asked. She blushed and I felt bad for embarrassing her. "Yeah I'm fine. It's just… do you have a dog?"

Silence. Every question went right out the window and an uncomfortable silence fell over the room. She shifted in her seat, looking slightly confused.

Sam was the first to break the silence. "Well… no. We don't….Why?"

She stuttered, "I-I just wondered, because, um, well I'm allergic… so…"

My mouth fell open. Silence again. The look on her face was of complete confusion and a little bit of fear. Every one just stood there, gaping at her.

That's when Embry, Quil, and Paul lost it. Suddenly a huge boom of laughter came from the corner, where they were standing. They were falling all over each other without even attempting to control themselves. After a minute Seth was holding his stomach, I assumed from laughing cramps. Emily had slapped her hand across her mouth in an attempted to stem the flow of her giggles. Even Leah was trying to hide her smile. Sam and I were exchanging an incredulous look. The irony was just too much.

The look on her face was priceless. She was startled to say the least. Another loud sneeze.

Emily was the first to come back from her giggle attack. "Sweetheart," she said, still catching her breath, "will you be ok? Do you need to get any medicine or anything?"

"I- um…no. No, I carry some with me everywhere. The only thing is… a glass of water…" she trailed off. I could see the wheels turning in her head, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

Everyone was starting to get a hold of themselves as she grabbed a couple oh white pills from her jacket pocket and swallowed them down with the glass of water Emily had acquired for her. After a few minutes and slap to the back of the head for Paul, Embry, and Quil (courtesy of Sam), everyone had calmed down considerably.

Jessa's eyes were huge with bewilderment. She had absolutely no idea what had just happened.

_Well, I _did_ warn her…_

At least the sneezes had subsided.

"Um… I think it's time to go for a walk. Jessa?" I looked at her. She nodded and stood slowly, looking shell shocked. This wasn't going to be easy to explain.

I reached for her hand as my brothers and sisters talked happily behind us.

"Don't get too close," Paul smirked. I shot him a death glare and held her hand tightly.

I checked my watch as the door closed behind us, muffling the sounds inside. 4:43. We still had plenty of time.

I looked down at her. She was staring straight ahead and I couldn't see her expression.

"Are you Ok?" I didn't know what else to say. She slowly looked up at me. "What… just happened?" she asked.

How was I supposed to answer that question? 'Oh, it's no big deal. I'm a werewolf, so it's a little funny that you're allergic to dogs. Especially as I've imprinted on you and we're meant to be soul mates and spend the rest of our lives together. That's all.'?

I sighed and looked across the line of trees. "Well, it's a long story. The pa- I mean… my friends have a thing for dogs, I guess." She didn't believe a word of it, but she didn't say anything. She just nodded and walked to the car.

"So, a walk, huh?" She looked a little excited. It was amazing how easily you could ignore something.

"Yeah. I thought maybe you'd like to see more of the beach, maybe even go on a hike now that the rain stopped. Later we can stop by my house." She nodded in confirmation. We both slid into our seats and I started the car.

After a few minutes of driving I could see she was starting to shiver. "Cold?" I asked, a little guiltily. I was going to have to start remembering that not everyone ran a temperature of 107. "Yeah a little." She said. I turned the heat on high.

We got to first beach quickly and were talking comfortably for a while. It was amazing how easy it was to be with her here, just walking along the beach, laughing and we played chicken with the tide. Laughing harder when our shoes got soaked. Her smile lit up her face and made it impossible not to smile back.

I realized with a jolt that I was happy. I hadn't been this happy in months…

"Wow. That is so beautiful," she said in awe, looking at something far in the distance. I couldn't take my eyes off her. "I know," I said. The way her cheeks reddened in the cold was-

"Jake? I mean _that_." She said, pointing. I looked up, following her gaze, and my heart sank past my stomach to somewhere around my knees.

"Oh. Um… yeah. I guess it is." I swallowed hard, trying to clear away the lump in my throat.

"Just look at how _big_ it is. I wonder how far of a fall that would be?" I was really not liking where this conversation was going. My hand, still holding hers, clenched hard.

"Are you okay Jake?" she asked, prying her eyes away from the cliff to look at me.

"Yeah, I um… I just never cared for that thing much." I said, my voice wavering slightly.

"Afraid of heights?" she said with a knowing smile. I went with it, nodding mutely.

She giggled at what she thought just a silly fear, and, to my relief, changed the subject. "Jake, I was wondering something." Jessa started. "Yes?" I prompted.

She blushed. "Well, I noticed it when you held my hand. You're really… _hot._" she said. I laughed, somehow forgetting about the past few minutes. "Well, thank you." I said, wiggling my eyebrows at her.

She laughed loudly and hit my arm, "That's not what I meant! And although you aren't wrong," I smiled widely at that, and her tone became more serious, "I mean your temperature. You're so warm. Every time I touch your skin, it's like you're on fire."

She looked at me expectantly. I shrugged, "I don't know why." But her question reminded me of something about her, something I'd also noticed from holding her hands. "Why are your hands always so ice cold?" I countered. She shrugged back. "I don't know. They've always been that way. It's the same way with my mom. I don't really notice it anymore."

"Well, that's a problem we'll just have to fix," I said with a grin. I stepped in front of her and took both her tiny hands in mine, holding them between us. She blushed and looked down. I leaned forward to look in her eyes, bringing her head back up with my gaze, our eyes locked. She shivered as a cool breeze penetrated her jacket, and I drew her closer to me.

"Jake," she whispered. I slowly leaned in, our lips just a breath away…

"JAKE!"

I flinched, closing my eyes tightly in frustration. I stood that way for a moment until I heard another obnoxious yell. I spun around, dropping Jessa's hands.

"What!" I growled back. I regretted it immediately as I felt Jessa flinch behind me.

Seth came to a stop in front of me, panting from sprinting from the other side of the beach. "It's Billy, he's looking for you." He said after he'd caught his breath.

"Now?" I asked exasperatedly. Jessa peered around my arm to see what was going on. Seth caught her eye and smiled wickedly. "Oh. I see. Should I come back later?" I let a low growl rip from my chest. Seth put his hands up in surrender and took a step back, but the grin never left his face. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger, buddy. I'm just following orders."

I sighed. "Get our of here, Seth." He ran back to the car waiting for him on the street, laughing. I had a feeling it wouldn't be the last I heard of this.

I turned back to Jessa gave her an apologetic look. She just giggled and took my hand, dragging me o the car.

"So, who is Billy?" she asked when we were on the road, heat blasting. "My dad," I informed her.

"So, does this meet I get o meet him?" she asked excitedly. I hadn't really anticipated introducing her to my father quite yet, but if she was okay with it… "Yeah. If you really want to." She agreed enthusiastically.

I nodded and turned onto the road that led to my house. When we arrived, I could see through the window that Emily was over. We walked in to see her setting the table with three plates laden with food.

"Hey, Em. What is all this?" I asked as we walked into the kitchen.

"Oh, nothing. I just thought you could use some time away from everyone, you know…" she sent me a look that I interpreted as 'Our family is crazy, and I don't want to scare Jessa away."

I sent her a grateful look and said, "Thanks, Em."

"That was really kind of you, Emily." Jessa agreed.

Emily accepted our thanks and made her way out.

My father wheeled out from under the table and over to Jessa to greet her. "Well hello. I'm Billy Black, the proud father of Jacob here." he said, sticking out his hand. I rolled my eyes.

Jessa took his hand and shook it, saying, "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Black."

He laughed. "Mr. Black was my father. Please, call me Billy." She agreed with a warm smile, and we took our seats around the table.

It was interesting to see Jessa interact with my friends and family. She always started out timid and rather shy, but as the conversation started to flow she opened up and became more and more energetic with her expressions and voice. As the night went on and we finished our food (Jessa insisting on helping clean up), her and my father really seemed to click. It was amazing just watching them talk and laugh with each other so easily, like they were old friends.

"Please tell me you're joking, Jessa. The _Bearcats? _Really?" my dad said incredulously. "What can I say, Billy? I was born in Cincinnati. The bearcat blood runs through my veins." She said with a laugh.

"Jake, you've barely said a word all night!" Billy said. I realized they were both looking at me. Apparently their conversation about college football was over. "I find it more entertaining to watch you two bickering over which football team is the best." I said with a smile.

Jessa scoffed, "We aren't _bickering, _Jacob. Football is serious business." Billy nodded solemnly. I rolled my eyes at the pair of them.

Jessa looked at her phone and swore. After apologizing to an amused Billy she said, "Jake, it's 9:53. I have to get home."

"I'll have you home in plenty of time, Jessa. Don't sweat it." I said. She looked at me skeptically. "Come on, then,, let's go." I said, handing over her jacket. "Careful, Jake. Better late then dead."

His eyes widened for a moment, realizing what he just said. I just shook my head at him and waved goodbye, closing the door.

We were on our way a moment later.

The drive went by faster than I would have liked it to. We were at her house in no time, and I was dreading saying goodbye. I didn't want this night to end.

I walked her to the porch. She turned to me, opening her mouth to say goodbye. Before the words could pass her lips I leaned forward, pressing my mouth to hers.

Her lips were soft and warm as they moved with mine. Perfect. They tasted as smooth and sweet as honey. She pulled away before the kiss could deepen, looking flustered. I was grinning ear to ear and said simply, "Bye."

"Bye." She responded, looking a little dazed.

That gave my ego a nice bump up.

She waved from the doorway as I drove off.

What a perfect day.

**Sorry for the long update, but there was a family emergency and I had to fly out to be with my family.**

**Also, sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes. I made this in a hurry, for you guys.**

**Thanks for understanding, I really appreciate it.  
**

**Review and all that great stuff :).**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N so…um hi. Its been so long! I bet you didn't even remember you had this story as an alert! And if you're new, welcome to my world, thought up by my very… interesting brain.**

**I am so sorry. My life has been so hectic at school, with my family… that this story sort of fell to the wayside. I promise that I will make my BEST attempt to do better.**

**If you don't remember what this story was about, just go back and re-read! You liked it once, remember? :).**

**Also, I'm going to write many chapters at once and then post them one at a time, about once a week most likely.**

**I really missed writing this, and am really looking forward to restarting.**

**Outfits can be found in my profile. I spent a long time on Jessa's!**

**Well, let's get on with it!**

**I don't own anything twilight related, except the characters and fantasies in my head.**

**JESSAPOV**

I stumbled back inside after he kissed me, a little light headed, and somehow found my way to my room, letting my parents know I was home on the way. They were concerned at first, because I seemed unsteady.

I just hoped they didn't think I was drunk…

Although I might as well have been. My brain felt just as foggy and I was unstable on my feet. I was love drunk.

Wait… _what_?

I did not just think that…

I was deranged. Still high from the kiss, that was all.

Of course. I couldn't possibly be in love with Jake. Not yet, anyway. It was way too soon. I mean, I barely knew the guy.

Sure, he was unbelievably sweet. Not just to impress people, either, but because he really cared about them. And maybe he made me laugh, even at myself. Of course, he was absolutely gorgeous. Breath taking, really. His eyes made me melt like butter. And, ok, the way he held me made my heart flutter in a way no other guy had ever been able to accomplish. Not even Alex…

But love?

It was way too soon to tell.

I shook my head, trying to clear out the crazy.

_Get a hold of yourself, Jessa._

Even though I knew I was a mad woman, I couldn't help thinking about my Jacob well into the night.

**JAKEPOV**

I turned over in my bed to stare out the window. The moon cast a sliver of silver light through the room, aided by the dim yellow glow of the lamp on my bedside table.

It felt well past midnight, (a glance at the small digital clock next to me confirmed this), but I hadn't been able to sleep a wink. My mind raced with thoughts of Jessa, and the kiss from earlier that night.

Had I been too forward? Maybe she hadn't wanted to kiss me. But no, she smiled at me as I drove away…. Maybe she was just being nice, and I had actually disgusted her. It was possible she never wanted to see me again. Then where would I be? She was my imprint. My perfect match. What would I do without her? I couldn't let myself fall into the depression brought on by being abandoned, again. Then again, Jessa was so much more than _her_. More... everything. Jessa was just more everything. She cared for me in a way Bella never had.

Right?

I groaned softly and ran my hands down my face.

Sleep. I needed sleep. I closed my eyes tightly and willed my mind to shut up, but it had other ideas.

Eventually, I accepted the fact that this was going to be another sleepless night.

I sat up slowly, moving to the edge of my bed. I slowly, methodically ran my feet over the old carpet, worn flat by my years of treading on it. The repetitive motion soothed me. I slowly stood and made my way to the mirror across from my bed.

For a while I just stared at myself, dressed in nothing but my green boxers, eyes fixed on the lumpy scar just below my belly button.

It was better than it had been, but it was still a nasty sight. The scar was a deep red color, the skin raised in a rigid line about 6 inches long, or so the doctors had told me. They'd also told me I had cut through the muscles in my abdomen, pretty deep. They felt certain that I would have a scar for the rest of my life.

It was a miracle I was alive.

I ran my finger along the bump, mesmerized with the way it felt, so solid.

Why had the wolf in me not healed it?

I hadn't actually expected to die from the cut, of course. I just wanted to do something… to feel something. It had seemed the only way. I was sure I would pass out and drown before anything else.

But then my savior came…

So what had happened? It simply made no sense. Since I had returned from the hospital, my wolfiness seemed to be completely operational. My temperature was still a toasty 107, my hearing was as sharp as ever, as well as my sight and sense of smell…

I turned away from the mirror, wondering for the thousandth time who had saved me. The doctors and Billy said they had no idea. I'd even gone as far as tracking down the paramedics who had come for me, but they claimed to have been too preoccupied with saving my life to take notice of anything else.

I groaned in frustration.

This was just torture.

I hated nights like this. The nights when I couldn't sleep, my mind preoccupied with the questions running wild through my head, my imagination spinning out of control with possibilities.

Carlisle had been right that day in the hospital. It simply did not add up.

Carlisle…

Maybe…

No. I refused to ask for help from the bloodsuckers, even if they had saved my life numerous times in the past.

But if I didn't find some help, how would I ever figure out the mysteries surrounding my survival?

My savior, my healing. Nothing made sense.

I sighed, giving up. It would do me no good to obsess like this, at least not right now.

I laid back in bed and turned my thoughts back to my Jessa. Eventually, my eyes closed and my thoughts drifted slowly into dreams of my angel.

I woke up the next morning to rain tapping lightly on my window. A quick look outside told me it was still early, probably about 9.

My phone buzzed from where I'd left it the night before on my desk. I quickly got up to answer it.

"Hello?" I said, a little groggily.

"Oh no. I didn't wake you did I? I'm sorry. I didn't look at the time. Go back to bed."

I smiled. She was so adorable.

"Hello Jessa. Don't worry, I'm an early riser. Although I didn't get much sleep last night."

I could hear the frown in her voice, "Why not?" She sounded concerned.

I paused, thinking through my answer. "Oh, no reason. Just thinking."

"Oh. I guess I shouldn't judge. I was up until about 2."

Now I was concerned, "Why on earth were you awake until 2?" I demanded.

I hoped I wasn't coming off as controlling, but she just laughed.

"Now who's judging, Mr. Black?" she asked, sounding amused.

I laughed sheepishly, "I guess you're right. I just… worry about you." I said quietly.

She paused for a moment.

"You. I was thinking about you. That's why I was up so late."

I couldn't control the grin that spread across my face at this. "What a coincidence. I was thinking about you."

There was another pause.

"So, to what do I owe this pleasure, Miss Wolf?" I asked.

"Well… I had such a good time Friday, and I was just wondering if… maybe… you wanted to, I don't know. Go out again." I could hear the anxiety in her voice.

How silly. Even the thought of turning her down seemed ridiculous.

"Of course! I'd love to. But wait, aren't I supposed to be asking you out?" I asked, slightly amused.

I could just see the sweet blush spread across her delicate face. "Well, yes. You took too long."

I laughed loudly. It was true. Though the thought had crossed my mind more than once last night.

"Alright Jessa. Tonight? I'll pick you up. We can go to the city. A proper date."

"Okay! I'll see you then!" she sounded genuinely excited.

We said our goodbyes and hung up.

A real date. Tonight. Just Jessa and me. What a marvelous thought.

**JESSAPOV**

So I'd finally got up the courage to do it. I'd asked Jacob Black, the most gorgeous boy on this earth, out on a date. And he'd said yes.

It had been with much prompting of Angela of course. I was quickly learning to not be deceived by her sweet, innocent appearance. Under that sweetness was a determined, stubborn girl who could get you to do almost anything.

How that Bella girl could have just tossed her aside was beyond me.

I made a point to ask Angela about it sometime.

As soon as I'd hung up with Jake, a plan had started to form. Every time Jake and I had been together so far, I had turned into a tongue-tied idiot. I would get nervous and second guess myself. But not tonight…

For now, I had other things to worry about. Like my room, which was still a disaster area.

I had put it off as long as possible, hoping that somehow my parents would realize their mistake and we would go back to Cincinnati, where I was born. It seemed now like that wasn't going to happen, so I decided it was time to start putting things away.

I set to it.

Sorting through all my possessions took a lot longer than I had thought, and by the time I was done it was already noon.

I had a quick lunch and took a shower, using my blackberry shampoo. It was a special occasion, after all.

I called Angela to give her the details on what had happened with Jake, and our date tonight.

After the initial freak out, she told me how happy she was for me. I was getting a little concerned though, because she seemed to be getting more and more quiet as I talked about Jake.

_She thinks I'm going to abandon her, like Bella did._

Well, I certainly would not let that happen.

"Hey Angela, do you want to come over tomorrow? We can study for that chemistry test."

This set her back into her happy mood, and I was really looking forward to spending some quality time with my new friend.

I hung up with Angela and decided to work on some chores around the house.

By the time I had finished, it was almost time for Jake to pick me up.

I had decided that tonight, I was going to try something a little different. I wanted to show Jake that I could be more than just a bumbling, blushing little girl. So I had a little something in store for the night.

I was going to try something outside my comfort zone.

I was going to be sexy.

**JAKEPOV**

_I'm going to kill them._

This is the thought that passes through my mind as I race to pick up Jessa on time.

The pack had _somehow_ discovered that I had a date tonight. So of course, being who they are, Paul, Quil, Embry, and Seth had all taunted me about it all through today's patrol.

It had gotten to the point where I simply could not take it anymore, and I snapped.

_Maybe that chunk I took out of Paul's leg will remind him to keep his mouth shut next time, _I thought.

This had set me back a ridiculous amount of time, and now I had to race to pick up Jessa.

_Jessa._

Just the thought of her put me in a slightly better mood. Slightly.

I finally pulled up to my angel's house 15 minutes late. I raced up her driveway and banged on the door, maybe a little too forcefully.

The door started creaking open slowly…

It had opened only about halfway before I took her by the hand and pulled her along behind me to the car.

"I am so sorry," I started, "Paul was being an ass, and it set me back so much. Of course Quil and Embry had to make it worse, because they all think they're just hilarious."

I opened the car door for her.

"Jake-"

"And Seth! God he wouldn't shut up for at least twenty minutes. He just kept following me around and telling me not to screw this up. Like I wasn't nervous enough already, right?"

"Jake-"

I was driving now, perhaps a little too fast.

"But of course they don't care. All they think about it the next joke to tell at my expense."

"Jake!"

"Especially Embry. He's the worst in the whole pack. Just shooting his mouth off at everyone all day. I swear he doesn't have the good sense to shut up. One of these days I'm going to smack him upside the head and-"

"JAKE!" Jessa yelled.

"What?" I asked, confused. Had she been talking? Oh god…

She was laughing, hard. "What the hell are you talking about?" The laughter was shaking her entire body.

I started laughing as well, "I have no idea."

We both sat there in the car, laughing until our stomachs ached. It felt good to laugh like this with her. I hadn't laughing this hard in a long time.

We finally settled down after a while, and rode to Seattle in a comfortable silence, until…

"Jake?"

"Yes?" I asked, glancing at her.

"What did you mean when you said 'the pack'?" she asked.

My entire body froze.

"What?" I said weakly.

"The pack. You were talking about Embry, and you said 'he's the worst in the whole pack'. What did you mean by that?" She's looking at me curiously.

My mind is blank. Had I really said that? How could I be so stupid? I could be so comfortable around her, things like that just slipped out…

I was definitely not ready for this conversation. It was too soon. She wasn't ready to handle the truth of what I am.

I had to be more careful than this.

The car is filled with a tense silence while I scramble for something to say. I can tell she senses my distress. Nothing gets by her.

It wouldn't be so bad if I would just _say_ something.

_Speak, Jake! Use your words!_

"Oh, um… that's just what we call our little family. 'The pack'." It's a weak excuse, and she knows it. I can see it in the way she pulls her eyebrows together that she's suspicious.

"Okay," is her only response. She's letting it go, for now.

I barely contain my sigh of relief.

The bullet has been dodged for now, but not for long.

We arrive in the city shortly after.

Jessa has never been to Seattle, so she's fascinated. I love Seattle. It's one of the places I used to come to escape life back at home.

We pull in to the parking lot of the restaurant I have chosen. One of my favorite places. The steak is to die for.

I walk quickly around the car to open the door for Jessa, and finally, _finally, _get my first good look at her all night.

My jaw drops.

She is so… _sexy._

Tight gray jeans, with a long black top that hugs her every curve. Bright red shoes, bracelets, and earrings make her look gorgeous. Her honey blonde hair is in messy, flowing curls. It looks like sex hair.

How have I been sitting in a car all this time, and not noticed the goddess sitting next to me?

And I was going on and on about my idiot brothers…

I'm shamelessly gaping when she brings me back to reality with a seductive smile.

"You like what you see?" she says smoothly.

I snap my jaw closed and nod.

She's slowly coming closer, with a look on her face that is _surely_ going to kill me.

I back up until my I'm trapped between her and the car. My heart is pumping fast, sending blood coursing through my body. To one body part in particular, which is causing an uncomfortable amount of pressure…

She doesn't back down, and now she is directly in front of me, looking up at me with those eyes…

I am probably over half a foot taller than her, but suddenly I feel very overpowered.

She is now pressed so close to my body that I can feel every inch of her curves pressed against me.

I let out an almost inaudible groan as she leans up to whisper in my ear.

I'm closing my eyes to prepare whatever is about to come out of this seductress's mouth.

She whispers, her lips brushing against my ear, sending shivers down my entire body.

"Ready to go inside?" her words are barely a breath.

It takes me a second to register what she's just said.

I stare at her. "Oh, that is just cruel," I say, slightly unsteady. She just shoots me another of those seductive smiles, her eyes smoldering.

I laugh weakly, but even as I tease her my voice is a bit shaky.

_Ok. Get a hold of yourself, Black. It's just a girl. You've taken on bloodthirsty vampires. This should be nothing compared to that._

She is walking, no, sauntering away, swaying her hips in a very inviting manner.

I swallow hard, adjusting my jeans into a slightly more comfortable, less embarrassing position.

_Oh, god. This girl is going to kill me._

**A/N sooooo…. What do you think? Good? It's really late, so sorry for any typos. I do try, you know.**

**More to come soon! Leave a comment, add to story favorite/alert/whatever else! Thanks, love you guys. Constructive criticism is appreciated!**

**-Emily**


	9. Chapter 9 Confessions and Kisses

**A/N well hello! Thank you for making it this far through my story! Writing is awesome, and I really can't wait to write more.**

**Is it obvious that I prefer writing in Jake's POV?**

**More romance to come! Read, read!**

**JESSAPOV**

Ok. Well, that had gone well. My plan seemed to be working. Jake was definitely flustered from my little show back there.

I was just getting started. He had no idea what was about to hit him.

J**AKEPOV**

Oh dear god. This woman was going to make me explode.

All night she had been torturing me with that achingly sexy look on her face.

Every time I looked at her across the table, she seemed to make me melt all over again.

It took all I had in me not to jump her across the table.

_Get it together, Jake._

Besides the extreme discomfort I was having around my pelvis region, we were having a perfect evening.

I was having a difficult time controlling myself when she said, "So, Jake," she purred my name, sending me over the edge all over again. This was really starting to get painful. "I know all about your family, but not all that much about you." She looked at me expectantly.

I puffed my cheeks and blew out the air, not really knowing what to say. Rubbing the back of my neck, I looked at her. "What do you want to know?"

She considered this a moment.

Suddenly she blurted, "Have you ever been in love?"

Jessa's eyes got wide as saucers. She looked taken aback by what had just come out of her mouth.

I chuckled softly. She really was adorable.

Still, it took me a moment to decide how to respond to this. "I've never had a girlfriend." I finally decided.

She looked at me calculatingly. "You don't have to have a girlfriend to be in love, Jake." She said.

Well, she had me there.

I sighed. This was not a subject I wanted to explore with Jessa just yet. I could already feel the ghost of the ache in my stomach.

Even so, she deserved the truth.

I couldn't look at her as I said, "There was one girl. But it didn't work out."

There was a moment of silence.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

I was looking anywhere but at the angel in front of me. "It… wasn't…" I was having a hard time concentrating.

I let out a deep sigh. "The circumstances weren't right. She was in love with someone else." Still I averted my gaze, so I didn't notice when she scooted her chair closer to me around the circular table.

She took my hand and massaged it gently in hers, capturing my gaze with those beautiful eyes. They were such a deep blue…

We held each other's gaze for a while, until I decided it was my turn.

"It's only fair for me to ask… have you ever been in love?"

Now she was the one avoiding my eyes. She scooted back to her original position and looked like she was struggling for the right words.

I could relate.

"There was this guy. His name was Alex. We… dated for almost 2 years." My body tensed at this.

"Before we moved, we lived in the same place for a long time. Longer than usual. When I found out we were moving again… I was crushed. I told Alex, and he got mad. He stormed out and I didn't hear from him for 2 weeks…" She seemed to be getting smaller and smaller as the story went on. Whoever this Alex kid was, I was going to have to have a little talk with him…

She went on, "He showed up at my house with flowers, babbling on and on about how sorry he was. I was so happy to see him, I barely understood what he was saying." I had a sinking feeling in my gut. This was not going to end well. "Then I saw the hickey on his neck…"

Dead. This dick was going to be dead. I would wring his neck with my bare hands if he ever had the misfortune to get within a hundred yards of me.

"Jake, are you ok?" she sounded concerned. That's when I noticed my entire body was trembling with rage.

"I'm fine. Go on." I said tersely.

She sucked in a big breath before continuing. "I asked him about it, and he said he got it in a fight." I scoffed disbelievingly, and she gave me a sad little smile. "I was suspicious, of course. I asked around… and found out he had slept with my best friend, Sammie." She looked close to tears.

I could not believe my ears. Who on earth would ever even _think_ of hurting my Jessa? She was so sweet and fragile. It killed me to think she could have been in such pain. This Alex asshole must be fucked up in the head…

My body was shaking again.

That's when the trouble started.

I realized with a jolt that I did _not_ have my anger under control. I was reaching the breaking point.

I tried to calm myself down. I did anything. I steadied my breath, clasped my fingers together. Nothing was working. Even Jessa's delicate beauty couldn't pull me out of this. I just kept thinking about this punk, hurting my Jessa.

He had to pay.

My head was foggy, my muscles shaking with rage. I could feel myself losing control.

_No, not here! Not in this restaurant full of people, in front of Jessa!_

She looked startled at my reaction. "Jake?" she said nervously, "Jake? Are you okay?"

No. "Yeah. I'm fine." I gave her a weak smile, but it seemed to frighten her a little.

I bolted upright from my seat, knocking back my chair. People were starting to stare.

"Jake?" she said again, alarmed this time.

"I'm fine," I said tensely, "I just need to… to go to the bathroom." I had to get out of here, fast. I needed to compose myself.

I was bursting at the seam, and soon I would explode.

**JESSAPOV**

There was something wrong with Jake. I could see I in the set of his jaw, the way his eyes squinted painfully, like he was just barely containing himself.

Suddenly, he burst from his chair, knocking it over.

"Jake?" I said, startled. Something was definitely wrong.

His entire body was quaking. "I'm fine. I just need to… to go to the bathroom." He sprinted to the back of the restaurant like his shoes were on fire.

I just sat there, stunned. What had just happened? One minute we were talking about past loves, and the next…

That must be it. I had freaked him out with my Alex story. After all, who wants to date the damaged girl who had been cheated on? Jake doesn't deserve that kind of baggage.

I threw my napkin down in frustration, putting my head in my hands.

What was I thinking? Unloading that on him, on our first date?

_I am such an IDIOT, _I thought.

What was I going to do now? All I could do was just sit there and wait.

How had I screwed up so badly? I couldn't afford to lose Jake. He was… different. He actually seemed to care about me. The way he looked at me, with those awe-struck eyes made me float, like I was the only girl that existed in his world. He was so gentle and kind, unlike most 18 year olds, who were crude and obnoxious.

Yes, Jake was very different. Unlike any boy I had ever met.

_Well, now you've done it. You chased him away with your fucked up past._

_Good going, Jess._

**JAKEPOV**

I stared at myself in the mirror of the men's restroom.

I had finally got the shaking under control, but my heart was still flying a hundred miles an hour.

All I needed to do was breathe. Just breathe and everything will be okay. What was _wrong _with me? I didn't see how I could have had any other reaction to hearing my Jessa in pain. But this much? It was like I was a new wolf again, barely under control of my emotions. Ready to phase at the slightest irritation. But I hadn't been this volatile since the first few weeks after my first change…

Splashing cold water on my face, I decided I would just have to shake it off. I was mortified by my behavior. Jessa probably thought I was a mad man, running away like that.

I tried to plaster a winning smile on my face, but it looked painfully forced. I gave up with a groan, pacing around the bathroom.

Just shake it off. I can do this. It's Jessa, my soul mate. Do it for her.

This set my head slightly straighter, and I made my way out of the bathroom.

I looked across the restaurant to see Jessa with her head in her hands.

_Now look what you've done, Black._

I probably should have thought up an excuse for my actions in the bathroom, but it was too late now. Jessa caught me looking at her, and she beckoned me over with a concerned look on her face.

"Jake, are you okay?" she asked, before I could even sit.

I shifted uncomfortably under her scrutinizing eyes.

I laughed nervously. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… didn't feel well for a moment. But I'm fine now." I tried the smile again, but it felt too fake.

She thought so too, it would seem. Her eyes penetrated me, seeming to see the lies bouncing around my head. She didn't believe a word. Her eyes said, "That's bullshit."

I coughed. She just kept staring, and we finished our meal in silence.

"Hey, it's still pretty early. Want to take a walk?" I offered as we walked into the evening air. She nodded, and I took her hand easily. We walked in silence for a while more along the strip of stores that seemed to go on forever.

Jessa sighed loudly and turned to me when we got back to the truck.

"Jake," she started, "Look, I know I freaked you out back there, and I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve to have all that dumped on you on our first real date. I was stupid to think it was okay to ask you about that, and then dump all my issues on you. I'm so sorry." Her doe eyes looked at me pleadingly.

I just looked at her, confused.

Did she think this was _her_ fault? I laughed aloud at the thought, and quickly regretted it. Her face fell.

I cupped her chin and brought it up so I could look directly into her eyes. "Jessa, sweetheart. Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. It's my fault. When you told me that story, about that Alex punk… it just made me so mad and I… I needed time to compose myself. Just the thought of anyone hurting you…" I needed to stop thinking about it. I could feel my hands beginning to tremble again.

My angel quickly distracted me, however. She took the hand holding her chin and brought my palm to her mouth. I shivered at the contact. Her eyes never left me and she drew herself closer. I folded her tightly in my arms and gazed into those mesmerizing pools of blue.

"I really like you, Jake." She whispered. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

"I really like you, too." I whispered back.

She closed the distance between us in one swift motion, pressing those delicious lips upon mine. My head spun. This was nothing like our first kiss. That had been quick and innocent. This was more than that, much more. I was struck once again by how her lips were sweet as honey. I could kiss her all day long if I had the chance. She slowly moved her mouth with mine in perfect sync. My heart was fluttering and my pulse pounding, surely she could feel it beating through my shirt.

She didn't break away as I gently sucked on her bottom lip. Jessa let out a soft breath and opened her mouth, letting me deepen the kiss. It was pure bliss, standing here with her, under the setting sun. She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly, and we stood there for a long while, until the sun had sunk past the horizon. With a contented sigh I pulled away and looked at her.

I couldn't help the goofy grin that stuck to my face, and she giggled. "I take it you enjoyed that," she said with a mischievous smirk. I barked out a laugh and snaked my arm around her waist, pulling her closer so I could look deeply into her eyes. "And you didn't?" I breathed.

It was clear I was making her flustered by the pink blush that flooded he cheeks. "Maybe a little," she whispered.

"Only a little?" I asked, bringing her even closer, until our faces were just inches apart. Her eyes were beginning to flutter. "Maybe a lot."

I was completely taken aback when she threw her arms around me, backing me up into the side of the car, hard. I groaned as I felt her pressing into me, every curve fitting perfectly into me. She deepened the kiss with each passing moment. Her lips broke from mine for only a second before she glided them along my cheek, down to my jaw. From these she left a trail of kisses up to my ear. I could feel a rather uncomfortable pressure starting to appear around my pelvis. She could feel it too, apparently, because she pressed into me harder. I let out another moan, louder this time. It only seemed to increase her enthusiasm, as she lightly bit my earlobe. It was almost my undoing. She wasn't done yet, however. Jessa sucked lightly on my neck until I couldn't take it anymore. I smoothly spun around until she was the one pinned up against the car.

Now it was my turn.

**JESSAPOV**

I had no idea what had gotten into me. One moment, Jake was gazing at me with the most loving look on his face, and the next I had him pinned up against his old truck.

Whatever it was, I was grateful.

Jake had somehow managed to break the death grip I had him in and turn things around, so now I was the one trapped. I didn't mind in the least. I could feel the hard muscles underneath his shirt. I ran my hands lightly up and down them, reveling in the feeling of him pressed to tightly against me. I switched positions and felt down his chest, over his abs. I was distracted for a moment when my hands slid past his belly button, across something else…

Wait, did he just _growl_? Oh, fuck. That was by far the sexiest sound I had ever heard. I let out a soft moan as he attacked my mouth with his. Dear lord, who taught this man how to kiss? I was going to give that person a medal. Or maybe not. The thought of Jake kissing anyone else made me suddenly… jealous.

_What are you doing thinking about other girls, Jess? There is an incredibly sexy man kissing you right now!_

I turned my attention back to Jake, only to find him kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin just below my ear. I shivered. He must have known I was enjoying myself, because he continued kissing his way down my neck, across my collar bone…

Okay, I had to get a handle on this situation before things got too out of hand.

I gently pushed on his shoulders, and he backed off. I almost changed my mind when I saw the look on his face. Oh god, did I want him…

I gave a breathy laugh and tried to get a handle on my nerves.

"Well, that was…" I trailed off.

"Yeah," he said, looking just as flustered as I felt.

We stood there for a moment, breathing heavily.

Finally, he said, "Shall we?" gesturing at the truck. I nodded.

He held the door open for me like the gentleman that he was.

We hit the road, and he glanced at me, smirking.

"What?" I said defensively.

He just kept smiling. "Oh nothing."

"No, tell me. Please?" I gave him my best puppy dog eyes.

He laughed loudly. "I'm just wondering how you can go from little miss innocent one second to the sexiest woman I've ever met the next."

I smiled brightly at that. "It's a gift," I lightly. He laughed again.

We rode back to Forks, talking comfortably the whole way about school, our families, each other. Anything and everything. It was nice to be with him like this.

"So," he said when we were about halfway home, "do you want to play a game?"

A game? "Sounds… interesting," I said cautiously. I could see the smile playing on his lips already. How I'd like to kiss those lips again…

"Here are the rules. We get to ask each other one question. Just one. The other person has to answer completely honestly. No exceptions."

I didn't know if I liked the sound of that…

I thought about it for a moment. "Okay, but you first."

"Perfect. I already know my question," he responded.

I waited.

"My question is… how do you feel about me?" he looked extremely serious.

The question was so absurd I laughed. "You know how I feel about you already, Jake."

He didn't seem satisfied. "No, I mean, how do you _really_ feel about me? When you're alone, and you think of me, what do you feel?"

His mood had sobered up completely from a few minutes earlier, when we had been laughing and joking. I could see the seriousness in his eyes.

I didn't know how to respond. "Give me a moment to think, okay?" He nodded.

What did I feel for Jake? I knew I liked him, that was for sure. But why?

He was so real, so sure of himself. It was like he knew exactly who he was, and his place in the world. That's something I'd always wanted. Moving from place to place your whole life doesn't leave you much time to find yourself. I suppose it had something to do with his family… his pack, as he called them. There was still something not quite right about that.

Why else?

He made me feel grounded. It felt as if I had been floating along for so long, with no real direction, and he had just pulled my back down to earth. He was like my rock, solid and steady and always there. I knew he was someone I could count on, someone I could trust.

Then there was the way he made my heart flutter. Every time I heard his rich, gorgeous voice I felt like I would melt. His eyes burned into me and set me on fire, burning through my heart and smoldering in my stomach. It filled me up and made me feel wanted.

But there were still so many things that I _didn't _know about him.

So what to tell him, and what to keep to myself? I had to be honest, those were the rules.

I took another moment to collect my thoughts. I could feel the curiosity radiating from him.

"You… make me want to know you. I'm falling for everything you are now, for what you've let me see, but I know there's more. More that you aren't ready to show me yet. And… and I want it all. Every piece of you, I want it. I want all of you, even the broken parts." I was a little shocked by how much I had said. I realized as the words came tumbling past my lips that they were all true.

We had arrived at my house and were parked in the driveway now.

He took a moment to consider what I'd said.

Then, he turned to me and let the most breathtaking smile light up his face. "Really?" he asked. I could hear all the hope put into that one word.

I smiled back. "Really."

He leaned in to kiss me again. It was gentle and sweet, and I could feel all the care and affection he had for me pouring into it. It was hard to break away, but I had to get inside.

"Okay, now it's your turn," Jake said.

"I think I'll save my question for later. I really have to get inside, before my parents start to get worried."

He opened my door and walked me to the porch. There, he planted a gentle kiss on my forehead, pulling me into a hug.

"Goodnight, Jessa," he whispered into my ear.

"Goodnight, Jake," I said back.

I watched him pull away from my bedroom window, wishing that the night never had to end.

**A/N ahh! That was tense! Really a lot of emotions in this chapter. That's the way we like it though, right? Well, I'll update soon! Comments and all that jazz!**

**-Emily**


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